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Letter to my people: Skeletons tumbling out of closets

Obituaries
Now Susie from Aussie is singing like a canary and spilling the beans.

BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People

Remember when I said Baba kept it for me only and was not a bambazonke type?

You all laughed at me and thought I had lost my marbles.

During one of my interface rallies, I think I told you about a “manyengavana”. Did you listen to me? No!

Again you thought I was crazy.

Now Susie from Aussie is singing like a canary and spilling the beans.

Just to get this out of the way, Susie did say I was empathetic to her cause and tried to help her.

Now, that’s a real mother, kkk.

The allegations that Susie raises are quite disturbing and need to be investigated.

I know it’s easy to dismiss her as crazy, but there is a compelling case to investigate what she says and then action can be taken from there.

Men in politics and with power — except Baba of course — are predators and will use their influence to get away with literally anything.

That being said, Susie’s allegations cannot just be dismissed and there is need to get to the bottom of it.

If what she said is indeed true, then it must have taken her guts to come out in the manner she did.

She exposed how rotten our political culture is and why politics is such a bad place for women.

There is a saying that you don’t know how good something is until you lose it. Baba is gone and I am sure you are missing him already.

I can already hear you saying, “but Dr Amai you were involved in a scandal at work”.

Shut up, munopenga!

The moment Baba set eyes on me, he knew he would marry me and that is not a scandal. It is nothing compared to what happened to Susie.

I bet Cde Kembo has sent a message to his former colleagues demanding to be reinstated because what he is accused of doing is nothing compared to what Susie is claiming happened to her, kkk.

Dr Amai II has been quite busy of late and so has her personal media entourage from that newspaper.

I was quiet about Dr Amai II for a while because you woke ones would have accused me of jealousy and obsession.

But huh, you can’t keep quiet about that lady for too long because she is in your face all the time.

Recently, a whole page of The Herald was dedicated to Dr Amai II after she received a “certificate to save lives”.

Loosely translated, she received a first aid certificate, literally nothing to write home about.

But not if you are Dr Amai II as she went all out to celebrate a certificate that is normally received by primary school kids.

On a side note, that certificate will come in handy considering the number of accidents that her motorcade gets involved in.

I know you all thought I was cantankerous, but let’s be honest, when did I ever dominate newspapers for meaningless certificates like what Dr Amai II is doing.

If I was her adviser I would tell her to slow down, but I guess she is surrounded by people who just tell her what she wants to hear.

After receiving her first aid certificate, our superhero Dr Amai II was out to fight drug abuse through sport and once again, she had her media entourage with her and page 2 was hers once again.

Then she was off to fight cancer and then she visited Ejuweli Jekenisheni and then … wait, I can’t keep up. I am already tired of typing this.

One last thing, Dr Amai II needs to reprimand her lackey for the manner in which he treated journalists from the private media.

If Dr Amai II says she is an ambassador for health and whatever else she decides, then she is a public person and her activities need to be reported by the media both public and private.

This primitive behaviour of blocking private media journalists must stop.

The “new dispensation” has run out of projects to gloat about.

First, led by Obert Gutu, we were shown a picture of a road that was said to have been built by the government.

The only problem, which Obert didn’t spot, was that the single car on the road was actually being driven on the right and not on the left as we do in Zimbabwe.

Someone just plucked a picture from the internet and claimed it was Zimbabwe and Launchmore was doing a stellar job.

Next, we were shown a picture of a school that was built by Dr Amai II. The aerial view was stunning.

But a quick Google search will show you that the school is actually in Spain and is one of that country’s top institutions. I wonder why people would lie so brazenly.

Then the last one claimed that since Launchmore came into power, 1 200 schools had already been built.

Look, this is tiring. I am going to rest.

Munopengaaaaaaaa

Stop It!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

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